I havn't been LJing lately because there really isn't all that much going on in my life right now. I'm just sitting back and rotting my mind on video games, board games, blockbuster rentals, anime, and some good fantasy novels. Sweet, sweet escapes from reality; oh how I love you.

I feel so relaxed. It's very odd, after 5 months of stress. I might not have seemed stressed because I try not drag personal thoughts onto the Internet, (though some slip through), but I was truely ready to snap near the end of this semester. Since my break continues through until January 20th, I must make a concious effort to build up comic stock and get as many commissions finished as possible. If I make these efforts, I will hopefully be on top of things for a longer time before it all comes crashing down around me. Somehow I managed to pull myself out if it last semester, which is a good thing. I need good grades and an improvement in skill if I'm going to make a living off of my art. I don't want to become an art teacher, and I don't want to do art part time and work at Wal-mart on the side to make up the difference. Art NEEDS to be enough to make a living, it's what I love and have been working so hard for. All I want is to be able to support myself on a meager budget; just a 1 bedroom apartment, some health insurence, clothing, food, and maybe $40 a week for personal spending/entertainment/art supplies. Dun need a car, don't need to support children or anyone else. That shouldn't be so hard... but at the skill level I'm at right now it's not going to happen. I NEED to get professional. I'm a darn good amateur, but that doesn't count in the real world. I'm going to be going head-to-head with people who are just as talented, if not more so, and they've been out in the field for 5, 10, or 30 years!

And then I have to pay back the loans ~_~;;;

(fyi: CCAD is 8,000 a semester; no room or board) *ouch*

I've got a partial scholorship and the t-shirt business is helping to pay for a lot as I go, but this is going to be a very big dent in my income to pay back my education. What's worse is that I owe a lot of the money to my parents who are loaning to to me interest free. The reason why it's "worse" is that I love my parents and I'm feeling guilty that it's going to take me a while. They need that money right now. Things are tight and my sisters will be going to college very soon! Heck, Megan is going in less then a year! I need to make this work or I'll be letting my whole family down.

Wait, I'm relaxed... so damn relaxed...

... it's all in the future after all...

...the present is good...

...blarg...

I can't let the website get in the way of my schoolwork, but it's hard because I enjoy working on the site so much more. Working on NeonDragonArt does not feel like work at all. It's very relaxing. This week I think that I'll actually have 4 TimeScapes pages and 3 more Phantom strips done. Though it pains me to do so, I think I won't let either comic get more then 2 strips up a week. I need to keep the rest in reserve in case of school/social life emergency for the sake of sanity. The school emergency is going to happen reguardless of what I do, but at least I won't have school problems AND emotional guilt over not updating my website at the same time.




Why is livejournal so fun to complain in?

This was truly a happy post. I'm feeling good.

I'll stick by my statement that people enjoy complaining and worrying.

It's a part of us.

Like a spleen.

Or a cold sore.

Darn, I hate my cold sore.


Anyway, I think I'll go play iGo until 5:30AM and then sleep my bum off. Then tomorrow I can run around to all my old hangouts, bike the old rotations (if that damn snow melts!) and visit with some high school buddies. Geez, I'm so happy right now. Sloth really becomes me.

Noel loves me :)

(Noel is a semi-wild foster kitten that we are taming for P.A.W.S. She's black & evil-like, has razor sharp claws, and breath that can kill a full grown man... but she loves me.)

Life is good.